


Plane of Magic

by Daydreaming_In_The_Void



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Tags will be added as they become relevant, also fuck jk rowling, also the golden trio are all bi and you cant change my mind, and right before/during order of the phoenix, because reality fucked up, disclaimer i havent read the book in years, i couldn't sleep so this exists now, if some of her bigotry leaks into my work through the world she created please tell me, no beta we die like men, taako is a professor now, this is purely self indulgent, this is set after story and song
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:34:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25451728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daydreaming_In_The_Void/pseuds/Daydreaming_In_The_Void
Summary: Taako wanted to live a nice and peaceful life with his family, but apparently that's too much to ask of fate. He ends up in the middle of a war people deny is happening, and to boot, his Relic is in that world, too.Just peachy. At least he has some experience teaching magic.
Relationships: Angus McDonald & Taako, Hermione Granger & Harry Potter & Ron Weasley, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 45
Kudos: 97





	1. Chapter One

Taako was very much pissed. Here he was, enjoying life with his grim reaper boyfriend, his sister, and the rest of his family, and then two different realities decided to merge briefly and fuck him over. 

Of course he couldn’t get a peaceful life. That really was too much to ask, huh? 

At the moment he was leaning against the boy detective, who would apparently come with him to remedy the problem. Angus steadily ignored the cat like actions of the elf and grinned up at Lucretia, who was giving them the information they needed. 

Apparently, their reality had somehow briefly intersected with the Plane of Magic in another reality, causing certain things to overlap. Most errors were quickly righted through natural means, but one small one remained: since the Philosopher’s Stone existed in that world, too, (even if they were two entirely different items), the Relic replaced that world’s Stone, even though it had been destroyed.

Lucretia massaged her temples. “I suspect the replacement has something to do with the Light and it’s desire to be wanted, but I will have to look further into it. “

Taako bit his lip. “So basically there’s another Relic to worry about, specifically mine, except it’s in another world.”

“Precisely.” 

Angus finally got annoyed of the extra weight leaning on him and pushed him off, sending him to a dramatic heap on the floor. He ignored the exaggerated glare sent his way and tapped his finger to his chin. 

“Do you have any other important information about this world? How long will we be gone? I get the Reapers, you, and Davenport not being able to come with, but what about Magnus and Merle?” he asked. 

Taako rolled onto his stomach. “Yeah, I’m wonderin’ that too. Why not go full out Reclaimers?” 

The corners of Lucretia’s mouth tilted upwards. “I’m afraid Merle has a family camping trip and Magnus has the fantasy flu.” She tapped her fingers on her desk. “As for how long you will be gone, I simply do not know. It could be weeks, or it could be a year.”

Taako shot up. “Excuse me?” He narrowed his eyes. “I’m not leaving Lup or Kravitz for that long.” 

Lucretia nodded. “If worse comes to worst, I’m sure the Raven Queen can give them temporary leave to join you.” Taako looked more at ease. “And for the important information…” Her eyes glinted. “I have evidence that infiltrating a school of magic would be the fastest way to find it. I’ve heard there’s rumours of an old terror rising again, and he seems to enjoy targeting individuals at that school in particular. I have no doubt he will somehow catch wind of the replacement of the Philosopher’s Stone.” 

“To clarify,” Angus started, “A school for children, or a school for adults. 

“Children, unfortunately.”

“Jesus, that makes him one creepy cookie all right.”

Lucretia laughed. “Indeed it does. I would prefer you leave for the world as soon as Lup and Barry finish their transport device. After saying your goodbyes, of course.” 

“Of course.”

* * *

It didn’t take the two long to finish the portal. After saying their goodbyes, (With Lup threatening to drag Taako right back into the mortal world if he died, death crime or no), and a tearful goodbye to his cats, Taako and Angus stood in the twins’ shared home, in the basement laboratory in front of a large time-machine looking structure. 

Kravitz pulled him closer, giving him a gentle kiss, before pulling back, arms still around him in a halfway hug. “Be careful.” 

Taako grinned, flustered. “I always am.” 

Kravitz raised a brow. “Literally last week you fell down the stairs.” Instead of responding, Taako kissed him again, ignoring Lup’s muffled snort in the background. 

There was a tap on his arm and he pulled away, looking down at the boy detective smiling innocently at him. “Are you gonna get married soon?” Taako’s face flushed and he promptly buried his face in Kravitz’s neck, mumbling something. Kravitz, face also a brilliant shade of red, laughed, no doubt just as flustered as his partner. Lup flung her arms around the two. 

“Relationship speed run, huh? I like it!” She laughed merrily at Taako, who was trying even harder to disappear into Kravitz’s scarf. He pushed her away half-heartedly, the bright red of his face spreading to his ears. 

He let go of Kravitz suddenly, and marched towards the teleportation device, pulling his own sheer scarf over his face. He pulled Angus with him and pushed him into the machine, waving at the laughing members of his family and sticking out his tongue. Lup responded in kind as she waved, and Barry pulled a lever and the doors slammed shut with a bang that would’ve been ominous if he was in any other mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and Kudos appreciated!
> 
> If you think there's something I can improve, feel free to tell me, especially if it offends someone.
> 
> I hope you have a lovely day!


	2. Chapter Two

There was a ding like that of an elevator, and the doors slid open. They stepped out, Angus still dazed from the experience of travelling to a different reality. Taako was used to it by now, due to his and Lup’s various escapades, most involving trying to get a certain fifteen dollar bill back, which seemed to be doing it’s best to avoid it’s creator. Of course, the fact he travelled through reality about a hundred times could also be why he was perfectly fine. 

Around them was an office filled to the brim with magical trinkets, books, and scattered papers. Behind them, the device promptly spontaneously combusted. Taako yelped, jumping away and pulling the detective away too. When the fire was gone, nothing was left of the machine except for a few pieces of (melted) metal pipes. 

“Well, that was certainly an entrance!” They turned to find an atrociously dressed man (like c’mon, he was wearing a neon orange and hot pink robe with a star patterned green and orange shirt) with his hands clasped, a twinkle in his eyes. 

“That was also supposed to be our exit,” Angus noted dryly. Taako shrugged. 

“Barry will figure something out. Probably.” 

“In any case, I would like to thank you for helping out with reality’s little error. I must ask, however, why there is a child with you?” 

Angus bristled, but kept his tongue. Taako had no such intentions. “The kid is a seasoned detective, and would be able to run circles around your students anytime.” 

The old man shrugged, choosing not to antagonise the two further. “In any case, the students and staff will need an explanation. Perhaps it would be best if you introduced him as your protégé.”

“That was the plan. Anyways, do you have any leads?” asked Angus, adjusting his glasses. 

“Only that Voldemort is after it. He is a dark wizard hell bent on the destruction of those that are nonmagical or their descendants, even if those happen to be magical. May I ask what the Stone does? Your friend did not give much information when she contacted me.”

Taako and Angus glanced at each other, both suddenly uncomfortable. The Headmaster undoubtedly noticed, but didn’t comment. 

“It has the ability to transfigure any material into any other.” 

The Headmaster cocked his head. “Other than ruining an economy completely, I’m not sure I see why it is so dangerous.” 

Angus stepped in. “Two reasons, sir. One, it does not matter if that material is organic, therefore giving the ability to kill nearly instantaneously. And two, it spreads by touch until the user makes a conscious effort to stop it, or until they die.” 

“That makes more sense. In the hands of someone like Voldemort, it could cause unspeakable damage.” He then brightened. “In either case, it would be wise to know your names.”

“Angus McDonald, sir! World’s greatest detective!” The man smiled at the kid before turning to Taako expectantly.

“Taako.” The man blinked a few times, but took it in stride. 

“I am Albus Dumbledore. Well, Taako, and, in extension, Angus, I have an offer for you. You are free to accept or decline as you please, though it would make explaining your presence here much simpler if you accepted.”

Taako narrowed his eyes, gesturing for Dumbledore to continue. 

“I would like to hire you as a teacher for the Defence Against Dark Arts class here at Hogwarts.”

He was silent for a few moments, before groaning. “I leave, thinking at least I won’t have to do fucking paperwork or deal with students that want to burn the school to the ground. Guess not! Yeah, I’ll take your offer, why fucking not.”

Dumbledore smiled. “Excellent! Unfortunately, there seems to be a curse on the position, as no one has been able to hold it for more than a year. I may have found a loophole, in that if there are two teachers, each teaching a total of half a year, then technically they should be able to stay another year without threat of painful death.”

“Fun! Who will I be working with?” 

A sour look crossed Dumbledore’s face. “Dolores Umbridge.”

“I take it you’re not fond of her?” 

“Not really. And, well, since you’re here as an esteemed guest of the Ministry, I’m sure you could get away with some things most teachers couldn’t.” He smiled at the look of delight on Taako’s face and exasperation on Angus’. “Angus, I’d like you to take some tests to determine if there is any areas of magic you need to study to fit into fifth year more— The student Voldemort is after, Harry Potter, is in that year, so you have best chances of encountering the Philosopher’s Stone there.” 

Angus gave an enthusiastic thumbs up.

“We can do that tomorrow, travelling to a different reality really takes it out of you,” Taako lied. Well, it didn’t affect him, but Angus did look dead on his feet. 

“Of course! First, however, I would like to sort Angus— And you too, Taako, if you’d like— into a House.”

“A… House?”

“I take it the woman who contacted me didn’t tell you?”

“We were in a hurry.” 

“Well, the Houses are there as a dormitory system and determines what students share most of their classes. Students are Sorted, through magical means, as to where they would do best. Each House competes against the others to earn points, or lose them, depending on behaviour, to win the House Cup at the end of each year.”

Taako nodded. “What are the houses?”

“Gryffindor, with those who value bravery and chivalry most. Slytherin, ambitious and cunning. Ravenclaw, intelligent and creative. And Hufflepuff, dedicated and loyal.” 

“First guess, kid’s either a Ravenclaw or Slytherin.”

“I have no doubts that you’re a Slytherin, sir!” 

“You two seem very sure.”

“The kid found a secret organisation located on a fake moon within a few months of his initial suspicion.”

“Well, I doubt the other Houses would throw people off a moving train.”

“I didn’t throw you, you jumped!”

“It was your idea!”

“My idea was ‘jump off the train or die when it crashes in a serial killer’s treasured garden’!”

Angus’ only response was to stick his tongue out. 

“That certainly sounds like an adventure!” Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled and he grabbed an old worn hat from a shelf, plopping it on Angus’ head. His eyes lit up and he lifted the brim of the hat, which had fallen over his face.

Taako flopped onto the ground cross legged, scratching at his ears. Wait…

“Hey, Dumbles?” Dumbledore looked away from Angus and at him. “Do I need to hide my ears?” Dumbledore took a quick double take, seemingly not having noticed his long, floppy ears before now. 

“It is up to you. I would warn you, some in the school have prejudices against magical creatures, so I would decide now, before any of them meet you.”

“Oh great, fantasy racism.” If he was honest, he wasn’t interested in using a spell slot everyday to conceal his elven traits.

They were interrupted by the hat shouting “Ravenclaw!” in the small office at an uncomfortable volume. 

“Called it!” He pumped his fist in the air. Angus yawned, though he looked pleased with himself. “I can get Sorted later, the boy detective looks like he’s about to pass out.” 

“Of course. I’ll have Minerva show you to your rooms. Angus, sharing a dorm isn’t a problem for you, is it?” 

He shook his head, yawning again. Right on cue, the door to his office opened and a stern-looking woman in emerald robes stepped inside. 

“Ah, Minerva! This is— What’s your last name?”

“Tacco.”

“This is Professor Tacco and his student, Angus McDonald. He’ll be co-teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts.” 

Minerva nodded. “I see he has accepted your offer.” Taako gave her finger guns and the corners of her mouth drifted up. “I’ll escort you two to your room and dorm respectively.” Taako stood from the floor, smoothing out nonexistent wrinkles in his clothes, and followed the professor out of the office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and Kudos always appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

Harry noticed that, along with a Professor that replaced Hagrid, there were two new faces: a squat, toad-looking woman dressed in a horrible shade of pink, and next to her, a very attractive man in flamboyant clothing and with long braided hair. Next to him Hermione turned pink as she noticed the new presence and pointed him out to Ron, who turned a brilliant shade of red, hiding his face in his hands. 

Not expecting that reaction, Harry laughed and Ron took a pea from his plate and flicked it at him. Hermione ignored their antics and continued examining the new professor. 

“I wonder what he is,” she wondered, nibbling on her bread. 

Harry frowned. “What do you mean?” 

“Did you really not notice? He’s not human.” 

Harry raised his eyebrows and turned. Hermione was right; Even from a distance, the professor’s solid-colour eyes, slit pupils, and long, drooping ears were clearly visible. 

“I hope he tells us what he is, I feel it would be rude to ask,” she said, dropping her uneaten bread onto her plate.

“I don’t think it would be ruder than whatever the professor next to him just said, he looks like he wants to murder her.” 

The trio was interrupted by Dumbledore’s chair scraping as he stood, the pointy-eared professor cringing at the sound. No doubt he had more sensitive hearing. 

“Welcome to Hogwarts, both new students and old! I am pleased to announce we have three new professors joining us!” He waited for the scattered applause to fade. “Professor Grubblyplank, who is standing in for Professor Hagrid for the time being.” He paused for the applause. “Professor Tacco and Professor Umbridge,” he introduced, gesturing at them respectively, “who will be co-teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts.” There was thunderous applause, and Harry had no doubt it was for the attractive man and not the toad-looking woman. Dumbledore began his usual beginning-of-the-year announcements when he was interrupted by Professor Umbridge standing, scraping her chair on the floor by an unnecessary amount. 

Harry spotted Professor Tacco shift, and Umbridge stumbled as the chair toppled over. She payed it no mind, though she did send an annoyed glance at him. He stifled a laugh. Umbridge began droning on about how glad she was to be here and such, and Harry, along with the rest of the student body, tuned her out.

After a while, she finally finished, and picked her chair back up, sitting back down smugly. Dumbledore clapped enthusiastically and stood again, and dismissed the students to their dormitories. 

* * *

If he was honest, he was looking forward to DADA, even with the disasters that happened the past couple years. Umbridge didn’t seem great, but at least the other professor didn’t like her either. 

Harry got the feeling that the class was going to be entertaining, at the very least. 

When they arrived, Professor Tacco wasn’t there. Umbridge sat primly at her desk, lips puckered unpleasantly. It didn’t take long for Harry’s anger to flare and Umbridge seemed to delight in riling him up. 

Just as she finished talking about the Ministry’s confidence they wouldn’t need any practical experience, the door banged open and in strode Professor Tacco. He was dressed in sparkly but dark-coloured clothes, hair done up and makeup glittering. 

He didn’t pause to examine the scene, just sat on Umbridge’s desk as the door shut behind him. He gestured for them to continue, ignoring Umbridge’s scorn of his non-professional manner. 

Harry took the opportunity. “What good will theory be in the real world?” he asked.

“This is school, Mr. Potter, not the real world,” she answered. 

“Then they’re going to be in the ‘real world’ in what? Two years?” Tacco examined his nails. “They’re a lot of people out there that would jump at the opportunity to hurt kids. I thought this class was to prepare them for that?”

“Like I said,” Umbridge said impatiently, “There is no Dark wizard on the rise.”

“You’re lying! I saw him, I fought him!” Harry snapped. 

“Detention, Mr. Potter!” Umbridge looked smug. Professor Tacco narrowed his eyes, but didn’t say anything. Harry’s anger flared further and he stood up, shoving his chair away. 

“So, according to you, Cedric dropped dead of his own accord?” His voice shook.

“His death was a tragic accident.”

“It was murder!”

“Come here, Mr. Potter, dear,” she said, voice sickly sweet. She wrote something out on a parchment and sealed it, handing it to Professor Tacco. “Take him to McGonagall.”

Harry didn’t wait for Tacco’s response and instead stalked out the door, slamming it behind him. A moment passed before Tacco came through the door, and Harry began walking towards Professor McGonagall’s office as soon as he did. The taller wizard had no problems catching up. 

“Harry,” he started, but Harry interrupted him.

“Yes, I know, I’m an attention seeking liar.”

“I don’t know you so I can’t refute that, but I was saying that you should be more careful.”

“I— What?”

“To some people, it doesn’t matter that you’re a child,” Professor Tacco said. “They’ll still try hurting you when you do something they don’t like.”

“So what, I’m supposed to just shut up? People need to know!”

“No, you’re supposed to, I dunno, do it under the radar or some shit.”

Harry opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it. Professor Tacco made a good point, he realised.

“So, do you believe that Voldemort’s back?” Professor Tacco didn’t bat an eye at the name.

“I barely even know who he is, kid.” They came to a stop in front of McGonagall’s office door. “See me in my office later,” he said. 

“Why?” 

“To talk dangerous artifacts.” The professor grinned at him and finger gunned, then walked away, tail swishing.

Shaking his head, Harry knocked on McGonagall’s door, though his thoughts were still preoccupied. 

As the door opened, he decided on one thing: he trusted Professor Tacco. Even if he wasn’t exactly sure why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and Kudos appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

In the evening, Harry headed to Professor Tacco’s office. It took him a couple of absent minutes of walking before he realised he didn’t actually know where his office was. He asked some students that were wandering the halls, but they either didn’t want to talk to him or didn’t know. 

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He stopped walking and leaned on the wall, looking around to try to find out where he was in the castle. He didn’t recognise the area— it seemed quieter than the rest of the castle, the moving portraits depicting flickering candlelit study sessions and trees rustling in a quiet wind. 

He was about to start walking again when there was a loud grinding of stone and a few feet away from him, the stone wall rumbled open and out stumbled a bright-faced kid with big round glasses, almost like Harry’s own. He adjusted his glasses and brushed dust off of his Ravenclaw robes, and grinned at Harry.

“Hello!”

“Err, hello?”

“I’m Angus McDonald!” he said. “What’s your name?” 

Harry blinked a couple times. If he was honest, he was surprised he wasn’t recognised— his bangs weren’t covering his scar at the moment. Although, it wasn’t an unpleasant surprise. “Harry Potter,” he answered, preparing for shock and awe. 

He didn’t get that, fortunately. “What are you doing by Ravenclaw tower?” Angus asked, paying no mind to the rapidly closing secret passage behind him. 

“I was looking for Professor Tacco’s office.” 

The kid perked up. “Oh, I was heading there too!” He grinned. “I can lead you there, since you obviously don’t know where to go!” 

“I— Yeah, that would be a big help, thanks.” Angus gave him a thumbs up and looked at the now-closed passage behind him. He tapped his fingers along a few of the stones, humming along as he did, and the wall shook and slid open. 

Angus waved Harry along as he stepped through, waiting for him to step into the passage before he continued walking. The passage was long and winding, and Harry had no idea how long they’d walked before Angus stopped abruptly and put his hand on a seemingly random spot on the wall and it opened up, much like the entrance they had gone through earlier. 

They stepped through and Harry found himself in a hallway much brighter than the other one, the paintings more active and cheerful. There was a door propped open in the hallway, and Angus didn’t hesitate to walk in. Harry followed, assuming this was Professor Tacco’s office. 

He was right, if the man leaning back in his chair, feet on the table, was any indication. He was reading a book and didn’t look up at them, though his ears twitched as they approached. 

“Hello, sir!”

“Oh, it’s the boy wonder again. Back so soon?”

“There seems to be no secret passage directly to the Defence classroom, but there is a few shortcuts you could take!” 

Professor Tacco threw the book onto a couch, stretching in a cat-like manner. “Better than nothing. And you found the kid, great,” he said, looking over at Harry. 

Harry shifted nervously. “You wanted to see me, Professor?”

Professor Tacco made a face. “Jeez, you’re almost as polite as the boy detective.”

Harry glanced over at Angus, who grinned at him. “Detective?”

“Yes, sir!” Angus preened. “I’m here to help Taako!” 

“Help Professor Tacco with what?” 

“Call me Taako,” he said. Professor Tacco— Taako?— gestured at a seat near his desk. “Sit, we’re gonna talk about how some freak wants you dead.”

Harry sat, rather awkwardly. “That’s one way to say it.”

Taako waved it off. “Voldemort’s just another guy that decided murder and necromancy was better than seducing death.”

“I— What?” 

Taako ignored him. “ _Dumbledore_ thinks I shouldn’t tell you this, but _I_ think he’s a senile old man—

“You’re older than him,” Angus reminded. _How old is Taako, then?_ Harry thought.

Taako payed him no attention. “—So I’ve decided to fuck his instructions and tell you.”

Harry perked up. He’d known Dumbledore had been avoiding telling him stuff, and avoiding him in general, but it was nice getting some confirmation that it was happening. 

And it would be nice to finally have some idea of what was going on. 

“So you’re part of the Order of the Phoenix?” Immediately he realised he shouldn’t have said that, in case Taako was lying to him, or didn’t know about the Order, but oh well. Too late now.

Angus shrugged, hopping on the desk instead of sitting in the chair. “I’m not sure, actually.”

“Finally, something he doesn’t know.”

“ _However_ , I think we are at least honorary members.”

“I recant my statement.”

Harry couldn’t help but laugh. Also, he didn’t fuck up and reveal a secret organisation, so that was a plus. “What did you want to tell me?” he asked. 

“Well,” Taako said, drawing the word out. “We’re from a different reality, and _our_ reality interfered with _your_ reality, briefly, and replaced _your_ Philosopher’s Stone with _our_ Philosopher’s Stone and _we’re_ here to stop the Big-Bad-Probably-Evil-Lich-Guy from getting it and turning everything to, like, gold or some shit.” 

Harry blinked once. Twice. Took a moment to process the new professor’s words. And then:

“What the _fuck_?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read! Comments and Kudos are super appreciated!


End file.
